I wanted a happy ending
But then I was told – There is no ending
Not happy or otherwise
There is only this
But when this feels like nothing
And nothing feels like pain
And pain feels like breathing
Pain and nothing are the only constants I possess
I hate my self and my being
My only responsibility is to heal
To cure myself of ills inflicted
Surviving to fulfill someone else’s void
To fill the gaps providing
Completing tasks assigned
No hope of breaking free
from your prism of to true and control
Fuck you for beating me in this game
Fuck them for helping you to
Fuck me for sitting crying
And fuck him for not holding me tonight
I could have been brilliant
But now I’m adequate
No better than ordinary
I say this and I’m defeatist
I say otherwise – I’m vain and dreaming
Fuck you. fuck him. fuck you all.
I’m tired of your shit.
Fuck me. Fuck this.
All I wanted was a happy ending
A job, man, house and kids.
You took all those things from me.