As part of the dirty thirty challenge (a challenge in which one writes a poem for every day in April) I wrote this…. The prompt for this day (day 20) was “letter to someone I have never met”….. Hope you like it…

Dear Daughter

I always imagined I would hold you
The way you would feel in my arms
A small, warm package – perfect in every way
I would show you the world
And you would brighten it with your luminous wonder
You perfect tiny fingers, and lovely little toes
Your curious eyes
And dark curly hair….
You would question and learn
Love and yearn….
I never ever doubted that I would hold you
I love you now, as truly as I would ever….
I feel so much pain knowing I will never hold you
So hurt that you are not here
It is as painful as a gaping wound
As though you were cut roughly from my womb…. 
My pain is real and tangible…. 
Yet no one believes it is here
I don’t have you because I can’t
After so much hurt, the lies and deceit
I cannot make you
I cannot have you
I feel violated and robbed
But if I had you your life would be pain
Controlled by a man who did not love you
And does not love me….
But my daughter, I love you….
Because you are real in my heart.

Love Mum

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